The incident I can barely remember

My job often has cocktail receptions. I take advantage of these by getting as drunk as I can on free booze. Tonight was no different. Me and Matthews went down at 6 and got Kamikaze's. Instead of lime juice, triplesec and vodka served as a shot (as we expected) we were served OJ and some unidentified other flavor (possibly cranberry juice or grenadine) with vodka floating on the top. They were awful. As we drank those we snacked on hors d'ouvres. Then I started drinking champagne with great abandon. Monkeyfucker called and said we were meeting at a bar on the lower east side. He said to meet around 8. It was 7. I decided to stay for the additional hour. In between mingling with suits and my fellow paralegals I drank champagne as fast as the bartender refilled my glass. Monkeyfucker called back to say we should start going to the bar.

And then I woke up on the waterfront finishing a question to someone.

"...can you help me dude?"
"Don't call me dude, man!"
"Dude... I'm sorry."
"I SAID, don't call me Dude!"

He then punched me in the face. I staggered back and he grabbed my arm and threw me down. Still not being sure how I arrived at this place or how I became involved in this altercation I looked over at the person I think may have been a girl I was talking to and then hailed a cab. The cab got me to Brooklyn, though I didn't have enough money to pay for it. I stopped in a random conveinece store, took out money for the cabbie and then got on the subway.

When I arrived home I found out that I was filthy. My white shirt I was wearing had clearly found its way into the dirt at least once. I assumed it was from being thrown down. I went to bed.

The next day Monkeyfucker told me I was so drunk I couldn't stand and was trying to hit on girls but unable, he would take me away apoligetically and then I would go back. I got kicked out of the bar 3 times until I finally left. I wish someone had put me in a cab then. BAIMM played a message I left him informing him that I felt like I was on "The Wire" on the Baltimore waterfront and that I was sure someone would stab me. I also talked with my sister for 4 minutes that I can't remember. I called fasttalk but hung up after the phone rang. At least I could still make that decision.