The Carlo Rossi Incident

Summer after Sophomore year at The Old Alma Mater was miserable. I was caught up in a series of bad jobs and perpetually breaking up with my Ex-Girlfriend. I was smoking pot non-stop but not drinking ever. The one time I had people over to drink I made a huge bowl of Sangria that was excluded in favor of greenery and emptied Cigars. Being underage at the time I put the jar of sangria in my closet and forgot about it for months. At one point I was going to drink the whole thing on a bad night when I found it had gone bad. I was very high at the time and instead of just emptying I put it back. When I was packing to go abroad for the next semester at the end of the summer I found it and decided to get rid of it.
My parents had gone to the grocery store and I took the jug and started out of my door, I would pour it out in our yard and put the bottle somewhere. Problem solved. But two steps outside my door the top of the jug shot off like a cannon. Then a gyser of purple Carlo Rossi sprayed, firehose like, all over the stairwell, my bathroom, my parents bathroom and the general upstairs area. Thankfully my parents bedroom door was closed. When all was said and done the wine had sprayed through a seperating window between my half bath and my parents master bathroom onto the skylight. A distance of about 10 feet over and 10 feet up. The entire area looked like a scene from "The Shining." I poured salt over all of the carpet and tried to wash off the walls. I later learned that they were pourous walls surfaces and virtually impossible to clean well. When I heard my parents come back I went outside and calmly explained what happened. To their credit they took it well. I finished cleaning with their help and then repainted the wall the next day.
If I ever make Sangria again I'll make sure to drink it quickly.