So, I went to a few parties this weekend. Friday night at old man Fenton's place. The only thing I remember is that we had to explain to some girl what a hookah was, which seems odd after being at the old alma mater where everyone not only knows what they are, but owns at least one.
She asked what we were smoking, I said plum, and she said, "You can smoke a plum?" I was too confused to laugh.
Saturday night I went to my old friend's, the republican, girlfriend's place. Now, to set things straight, I call him the republican because so many people at the old alma mater had their "one republican friend" from home who would always come up in a story from time to time. This has no bad connotations, as I am, in fact, friends with the man, and I don't think something as simple as party affiliation should condemn someone to hatred. It's just a cute moniker.
So, Saturday night I was planning on going to two parties in Somerville, one hosted by another alum of the old alma mater. After dinner, however, the roomie was having second thoughts about going out. Then when I called my ride, she also backed out. My backup plan for a ride wasn't picking up his phone, so I finished the bottle of red wine, being the only red wine drinker in the house, and hopped on the T.
Being slightly drunk on the T is fun, until you realize:
1. You need to pee. God damn that was a lot of wine.
2. You need some water. That might've been an excessive amount of wine.
3. Your stomach hurts.
Then you remember last time you drank that much wine, which is another story, and how you almost threw up because you were too full, not too drunk.
I made it to the party without excreting anything, even though I fucked up the republican's directions.
For some odd reason, I decide to bypass the water and go for a fresh, cold PBR. I also decide that once I finish the PBR I am moving straight into g&t. I think the hour long ride on the T might've had something to do with it.
The republican informs me that this party is filled with Trinity alum, his girlfriend being one of them. I had met some of his old college buddies from Conn earlier in the week and had hoped to maybe recognize someone at this party. No such luck.
Then some girl walks into the room yelling, "Paul's here! I heard you were coming!" I have no idea who this person is, so we are introduced, and I promptly forget her name. I note that this girl is crazy, but since she is the only person I didn't know to have willingly talked to me so far, I start to chat it up.
She introduces me to her ex?-boyfriend, a large, bear-like man in the cuddly sense. I really thought I heard ex in there, but she was all flirty with him. Then again she was all flirty with most of the guys in the room.
At some point, she tells me that she likes saying the named Paul because she went out with a guy named Paul. According to her, that meant we couldn't go out. I don't know why she was telling me this. She was the one doing all of the flirting.
I did get my pee in eventually, but not the water. My stomach is at this point a bubbling cauldron of bottle of wine, PBR, and two gin and tonics. I think I felt a kick.
People are leaving, some to go to bed, others, led by flirty girl, to go to a club/chinese restaurant near Harvard. The ex? is stumbling wildy. Never one to miss a party, I follow. The republican and his girlfriend have some business, they will be catching up.
People other than the flirty girl are talking to me at this point, which is good, cause I hate flirty girls. They never mean it. They just want everyone to want them. But no touchy. No, no, no.
Along the way, a cat prances past. I turn to look at it, and it meows at me. I meow back, and we converse for a little while as it walks past, slowly turning my head more in the opposite direction I am walking. I deftly maneuver past one tree, and, not wanting to abruptly end our conversation, don't turn and walk side of head first into the next tree.
The flirty girl notices, and asks what I have done. I say that I was talking to the cat, because I love talking to cats, and didn't notice the tree. She says, "I don't like cats. I can't deal with them. We can't be in this relationship anymore." I am quite puzzled. She says that we should kiss on the cheek. I go in for the old we both kiss each other on the cheek at the same time, and she backs away, exclaiming, "No! The cheek, on the cheek!" I inform her that's where I was going, and give her a little peck. This girl is wildy uncontrollable.
The republican gives me a call. He is there. We are still at least five minutes away. Apparently we took the long way. The ex? is being carried on the shoulders of two girls at this point.
We get to the bar, and I see the republican and his girlfriend there. Them having more sense than the lot of Trinity kids combined, I walk ahead and begin talking to them. We move to the bouncer as the other kids get there.
"Can I see some ID?"
"Sure."
"How much have you had tonight?"
"I don't know, a few gin and tonics." I leave out the bottle of wine. I feel like most people would think I'd be plastered after that, judging by my size. They're forgetting my Irish.
"I'm not going to let you in."
"What?! Why?"
"You swayed. You've had enough." I'm glad I forgot about the tree thing here, cause I might've brought that up. I'm also glad I wasn't as drunk as he thought I was, cause I might've started something.
"Fuck you. I'm fine."
"Well, I'm not going to let you in."
Some of the Trinity kids were going into the bar. I don't remember seeing him specifically, but I'm pretty sure the ex? made it in. The huge dude who had to be carried the whole way. And I was standing there, drunk, but not plastered, with no outlet for my inebriation. People from the inside of the bar were saying it was last call, and they weren't letting anyone else in. It was 1:30. Fucking Boston.
The republican and his girlfriend led me back through the shortcut. I got another conversation with a cat, this time while still. I even got to pet it. I probably shouldn't pet random cats that come my way.
When we got back, I finally had that water. Then I passed out on a couch, in a beautiful pillow, and slept away flirty girl and asshole bouncer.
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